whisperings

Am I confused, or what?  This morning before going to bed at 1:00 am, I listed on an American flight to Dallas leaving this afternoon.  Now, I am having this quiet unrest in my soul.  Are we just working on, refining, my ability to hear your voice?

I’ve noticed this feeling quite frequently lately, and discounted it as laziness, or lack of motivation, or fear of moving on.  And so I would take forward steps in spite of it.  And each time, the step proved unnecessary.  Like you were whispering direction to me, and I discounted it – decided what I was hearing was something else – something deficient in my own soul.

Last Monday, it was about driving downtown to submit my resume to United Airlines.  And because I thought, “real adults apply for real jobs, rather than sitting around,” I went anyway.  And of course the “rest of the story” is that the office wasn’t even there, and I unnecessarily spent $13 for 40 minutes of parking and $1.47 on a strange red imported carbonated beverage so I would feel like a customer that could use the restroom.

Are you fine tuning my ear?  Or is this about something else?